I’ve been fighting a battle for several years now, my wife for even longer. Sometimes you want to give up and other times you don’t. It’s difficult when you try so hard to help someone to make the right choices but instead they don’t listen to your wisdom, your experience, basically don’t want your help. We all, have this need to be there for our loved ones, to support them, to shield them from the failures you know will come from making the wrong choices. When the person your trying to help continues to refuse to listen, you find yourself asking, “Is it time to give up?”
Well I’ve asked this question more than once and everytime my heart has said no. But I believe we all hit a point when you can do no more until they ask you. So I ask again “Is it time to give up?” Well I still believe the answer is no. What I have realized though, that sometimes, you can’t keep the one your trying to help from failing. That being there for them is why they can’t succeed. I think there comes a time where you have to stop helping. Your not giving up, your just letting them do it themselves. There comes a time when that loved one has to fail, on their own, in order to learn how to succeed. If your not there to catch them, eventually they will learn they can’t do it themselves, and if your lucky, will realize they need your help after all. You have to fail in order to learn how to succeed.
No one goes through life making all the right choices, never getting it wrong. We all fall short sometimes, we all make the wrong choices on occasion. What is important is that moment when we realize what the right choices are. Sometimes it takes a failure to show us how to succeed. Some, it takes many. I believe that time has come, to let that loved one make their own choices, even though I know they won’t always make the right ones. If that loved one fails enough without us being their safety net, eventually they will see the road to success and hopefully realize we were only trying to help all along and just maybe make the choice on their own for our help. I believe it is that time for us to drop the safety net, never give up hope, and let this person make their own choices, even if they are the wrong ones. Let this person know you will always be there to help if they ask for it but your not going to catch them when they fall until they do ask for that help. I think after enough falls, this person will finally see how to stand up, learn the right choices to make to succeed and that you can’t always do it alone, that they can ask for help.