Flying As Hazardous As Swimming In The Ocean

FAA

A new report came out by the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) stating that a person had as much chance from dying from a plane crash as they do from a shark bite.  That’s right Sharks.  Scary shit huh!  The report stated that since 9-11, plane crashes have been on the rise, especially overseas airlines.  An FAA spokesman stated “We have more and more airline crash fatalities each year, and there are more and more shark bite victims each year.  You have as much chance now from dying in a plane crash as you do from a shark bite.  Since both those numbers are increasing, you do the math.”  He went on to say “Imagine that plane crashing in the ocean.  Say you survived the crash.  Well now you just doubled your chances of dying from a shark bite because 1) You weren’t in the water before the crash and 2) You now have a ton of people dead or dying, with blood all around you attracting those sharks.”

Bomb threats in airports and on the airlines are increasing as well.  So are the amount of unruly passengers.  The report stated you now have a 30% chance of being stabbed by a spork from a passenger who’s dramamine wore off as well.  It also went on to state that with everyone’s stress levels up with the bad economy, low incomes, marital issues, mistresses saying their pregnant, work related issues and the list goes on and then add flying during the holidays people’s tempers are flaring more quickly.  Because of this, the amount of fights breaking out in flight because a person someone doesn’t know, sitting beside them decides they want to carry on a conversation for 3 hours while your trying to get some sleep.  Eventually the individuals have enough of it, between that and the body odor and lash out.

The report says the friendly skies aren’t so friendly anymore and people should start looking at trains as a mode of transportation.  Maybe if they started allowing people to become a member of the mile high club there would be a lot less tension while flying, who knows.

*****WARNING:  Any person or persons who believes this to be true has no concept of a joke and has not figured out just how twisted I am in the head and really needs to either go to a comedy club or a shrink, just saying.  Don’t believe me…..start at the beginning of my blog and read them up to today.  I dare you.  So have you ever seen a grown man naked?*****

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