Sometimes I have to wonder, why? Just why? We all have seen it in one form or another. It’s called spam. No not that nasty tasting stuff in a tin can but the stuff you get in your e-mail. The spam e-mails saying you’ll feel better about yourself if you take bosley’s hair products or enlarge your penis because my cock just isn’t big enough apparently, BTW, just a side note here, for those who suffer from a large penis I recommend the book “How To Live With A Huge Penis” by Dr. Richard Jacob and Rev. Owen Thomas. It’s a great book. You’ll find it in my good reads section on the right side of this blog and you can order it on Amazon. Anyway back to the spam. There are others too like the ones stating they are from some attorney in Africa and the person they represent is leaving their millions to you. All you need to do is give them all your personal information so they can wire the money to your bank (not pretend to be you and clean out your bank account because no one would do such a thing). Then there is the one below. I have gotten this one so many times it is laughable. It goes like this:
BABE… i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been
tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of
garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been?
In case u dont know who this is its ME Adriana.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then
I think u deleted me 😦 haha.. anyways guess what… I got 2 things to
tell u.. both good news.. 1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up
about 3 months ago… and 2) guess where im moving? RIGHT EFFING NEAR
U.. lol… ur actually the only person im gonna know there.. well 3
cousins too but i cant chill with them lol..
I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally can HAHA! im kinda scared to move.. im hoping this email addy is still
the one you use and u can chat with me ebfore i get there.. maybe even
help me move my shit in…are u still on facebook? i cudnt find ui was
soo confused…anyways im gonna need someone to show me the town and
take me out so u better be around bebe…
we only chatted a couple times but i remember thinking to myself i wanted to get ot know u
better when i was single..a nd i thoguth u were cute too but cudnt
tell u cause i wasnt single lol…ok so more info about me.. well im
23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for
drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named
BOO and i luv her to death… uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but
every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all
that.. love sex etc blah blah blah…who doesnt..
I really hope we get a chance to chat for a bit either online or on the fone before i get
there enxt week.. i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent
married yet lol.. OH YA also.. i need to find a job when i get there..
do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar
or osmehting like that…really anythgin cause my current job is fun
and all.. and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i
currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out
meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i
did? hmm shud i……???? ok WELLLL… and dont get all weirded out
on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat
with people and get naked HHAHA… BOMB right :)? I KNOW.. like i
figure iim horny anyways why not get paid to chat with people and play
with myself heheh…anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO
THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol… i actually need help
once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out….like i
said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON
STOP.. ive tried ot send this email to u maybe 3 times already and im
hopign this time i can hit SEND before i run into trouble lol..
ANYWAYS.. heres the deal….every month natalie (my boss) gives each
of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u
can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like
everyone else… the only way i can give u one of the codes (so we can
chat) is if you absolutey DO NOT give it out to anyone else and u ONLY
USE IT FOR URSELF… i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more
than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER… i figured u cud
always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me
login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room…
if theres anyone else logged in when u sign in ill boot them out.. but
remember DONT SHARE THIS PASSWORD PLEASE BABE IM BEGGING U.. I TRUST
U… im online most of the day now to try and save money for my move..
also since im in such a huge debt already form my student loan 😦 I
really thingk we need to chat before i get there and make sure u evern
remember me hahha.. anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably
soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work.. i
really hope u come chat me. it wud make my day and releive a lot of my
stress about the move… REALLY i mean that….anyways once i see u in
insdie ill shoot u myc ell number and u can gimme yours.. if u dont
wanna come chat i understand but its really the only palce to find me
now days.. if u email me abck ill probably get it once i get there
after my internet is setup so about 2-3 weeks fomr now.. but im hopign
to see u in my chat room.. rmemeber its 100% free with this code im
gonna give u.. just DONT GIVE IT OUT OR ILL KICK U IN THE BALLS
INSTEAD OF LICK U IN THE BALLS WHEN IS EE U hahahahha…k babe im out
for now… chat ya soon.. kisses xoxo Adriana
Okay, let’s break this spam down. You say we used to talk on facebook but you think I deleted you, so why do you think I would start talking again? So you’re now single and moving near me and I’m the only person you are going to know other than your 3 cousins. That’s convenient. So where do I live again? You left that out….hmmm. So you say we chatted and I said you were cute and wanted to chill. Okay, I don’t ever remember saying that to anyone especially named Adriana. Is there anyone who would be buying this already? You want me to help you move your shit too, well let’s see, you didn’t say where you were, so I can’t help you move or show you around town. Sooooo many flaws in this e-mail already.
Now you are saying we only chatted a couple times yet your putting all this trust in me. Well I am trustworthy I guess. Aside from the bad spelling and lack of apostrophe’s and non-capitalized letters you still haven’t sold me. Your social habits aren’t selling me either babe. Ooooohhhh now you are talking man talk, you love watching porn and love sex….well that should get me hooked right? Wrong. You hope I’m not married yet? Hmmm I’ve been married 4 ½ years….when was it we chatted again? Here’s the kicker, you want me to help you with finding a job…..(remember this one I’ll get back to it) No you didn’t tell me what you currently do…please do. There it is, you work on webcam chat and get paid to “chat” and get naked….uhhuh. Yet you need me to help you find you a job now that your moving. So why can’t you keep doing the one your doing? Oh yea you want to get out of that business, that’s right and I’m just the guy who can help you do that.
Now there’s a deal for me….every month your boss gives VIP codes to give and I get one..woohoo for free and don’t have to pay….but in reality I will have to pay and you really didn’t move here and I really don’t know you and we never really chatted on facebook. But if I do, while on chat we can exchange cell numbers….wow. Really? If I decide to just e-mail back you won’t get it till after you get here in 2-3 weeks. That’s a long 2-3 weeks since I’ve been getting the same e-mail for 6 months. Oh and when you see me you lick me in the balls, entertaining and all but I don’t believe you.
Like I said, I have gotten this same e-mail for over six months and not to mention I have seen this same e-mail in my 16 yr olds e-mail. So you know him too? What a coincidence. Are you going to lick his balls too? Because he is underage and that would just be wrong, even though technically 16 and consenting is legal I still have the right as a parent to press charges against you for sexual assualt of a minor. Oh I can’t forget your kisses and hugs xxooxxoo. Now who in the holy hell would actually believe this e-mail to be real and not to be a fake spam e-mail meant to get you to this companies webcam “chat” website and spend money to have a woman get naked and cyber chat with you? Seriously, sorry lady but I’m not buying it for one moment. Try your luck elsewhere and God I hope no one else falls for this crap either.