The Lewd And The Crude

I was sitting here trying to think of something to post and decided why not do a post on several things.  I figured first I would talk a little bit about the military then move into something more pornographic because it wouldn’t be a post of mine if there wasn’t something to do with sex or the female body now would it?

LieutenantsAs some of you already know I retired from the Air Force after serving 20 years.  I was active duty for 3 wars and countless other military actions.  During my time I was enlisted.  I could have been an officer but chose not too.  I always said I didn’t want to deal with the the politics of being an officer but the longer I was in the more I realized I couldn’t avoid it and I also realized I was better at the political game then most of the officers I worked for.



I2 also knew that the officers had to reign themselves in a lot, especially during TDYs.  They didn’t always do that but, it was expected.  Where as the enlisted, though the same was expected of us, it was also expected we wouldn’t and most likely we were going to go crazy as most of us did.  There was a saying “What goes TDY, stays TDY” and everyone lived by that rule.



003-usafIt was not uncommon to spend every minute of our free time partying.  Hell even when we were at home station if you were single and living in the dorms, there was a party almost all the time.  Living in the dorms was like a college frat house.  It was not uncommon to wake up the next day with a naked woman next to you either asleep or blowing you and you not remember anything from the night before.  Ahhh, yes those were the days.


0924jokeWell now that, that little trip down memory lane is done, lets move one to something more lewd and crude.  Let’s talk PMSing.  I have a 20 yr old daughter and a 15 yr old daughter so I have been through the changes of life for young girls.  I know the mood swings, the hormonal changes, and bi-polar moments.  Well now i have a 10 yr old who is getting close to that time for Aunt Flow to arrive and man has the PMS truck stopped at our place.  We don’t know whether she is coming or going.  One minute she’s crying and angry, the next she’s happy like nothing ever happened.  I can honestly say I will be so glad when PMS does actually hit so we will know when the mood swings will arrive instead of the current randomnous that is occuring now.


sexadOf course with puberty comes dating and for some when they are a few years older, sex.  (Like how I transitioned to sex there?) A lot of us had sex when we were teenagers and shudder at the thought of our kids doing it, especially our daughters.  But reality is, despite what we may or may not want for them, they are going to make their own decisions.  Unfortunately, sometimes those decisions turn out to be the wrong ones, proof being Teen Mom.  God I hate that show.  All I ever do is yell at the tv at how stupid those kids are and their thinking.  Especially the ones who got knocked up by some jerk asshole then keeps going back to him cause “He’s changed” only to find out in the next episode he didn’t.  Damn it girl, I could have told you the last episode he didn’t change.  Matter of fact I did.  I yelled it for 20 mins.  You obviously weren’t listening!!!!  These kids think they can’t get pregnant, but guess what?  You can and you did.  Hopefully, there are some kids who do watch and are actually learning something, like, stick to oral sex till your older.


thmasturbationspermThey could also just stick to masturbation.  Yea, it’s not as good as the real thing but when the real thing includes a kid, child support, and alimony, trust me it’s the safer alternative.  Hell when I was a kid I basically recaulked the bathroom tub, I masturbated so much.  Granted I was having sex too but hey at least I was limiting myself to how many times in one day I was doing it.  The great thing about masturbation is it doesn’t have to stop when you become an adult.  Hell for some you increase, especially after marriage.  When hormones are raging it’s tough not to “manage” them.


thththLoadThat doesn’t mean being with your significant other, teens couldn’t still take care of each other without having actual sex, such as oral sex.  Most all men love getting a blow job.  It’s an amazing feeling.  Most women feel the same way.  I will say there is nothing like having a woman swallow your load while sucking you off.  Personally, I always got a great satisfaction from giving it in return to the wife.  Alas, as I said, teens are going to do what they want, no matter what we say.


So I think that’s about it for tonight.  A little bit of everything, and something sure to offend someone.  Enjoy and I leave you with this parting thought.



13 thoughts on “The Lewd And The Crude

  1. Kitt Crescendo

    You had me dying at the whole re-caulking the bathroom. I had this image of you pointing and shooting. 😡

    As for sex..l can’t stand these shows that are glamorizing it. Worse, the STD’s have been steadily getting more dangerous. It’s not just crabs people have to worry about these days…things have gone from embarrassing and uncomfortable to life threatening.

    They’re better off taking Pink’s advice and sticking to “U +Ur Hand”.

  2. ramblingsfromamum

    Don’t shoot the pussy!!!!! What a varied post (one for your book I’m sure) – I shuddered a little on your 1st part as daughter # 2 enlisted in the Navy – and did 7 weeks of the 9 week course. She was sexually abused by an ‘OFFICER’ and that was part of the reason she didn’t continue and came back home. Sorry but even if I had something to say – I can’t comment on the rest right now. 😦

  3. saved in drafts

    urgh can you please warn me next time youre writing about TDYs I havent lived through one yet and im certainly not looking forward to it thanks to all the honest accounts of dishonest encounters I have heard :/ BUT still enjoyed reading the rest of that 🙂


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