It’s that time again for my next guest celebrity blogger. Next up is Vagenda Vixen and like myself she is no holds barred when it comes to what she posts. No topic is off limits as you will see with this post. So read, enjoy, then check her blog out, I know you like it.
***Hey beautiful Bloggers!***
So I have had my first Guest Blog ask from the lovely Rob over at
Seasons Of Insanity, a great blogger and like me he just speaks his
mind about anything and everything… Which I love and admire!
So my post for Rob will be about…
(DRUM ROLL PLEASE)
Yes you read that correctly.
Just little me here discussing my weird ways…
I have covered many topics in the last 3 months,
But never shit…
So lets “Crack on!” shall we!
I know you were hoping for something
exciting but who knows maybe this will excite you,
or scare you all away forever! Time will tell… Ha-ha…
I am a very open-minded and sometimes blunt person.
I will talk about anything and pretty much say anything!
I rarely say things without thinking but some things I just
don’t see the point in accessing first in my head before I
open my mouth…
I think the most outrageous thing I like to
discuss at times is what kind of shit I have had that day…
To close friends and family only of course, not to
complete strangers, I am not a total nut-job!
Even out of my closest friends and family,
I avoid talking about this to the “squeamers!”
It takes one to know one, I am a squeamer and
I know the squeamers when I see them!
You can easily tell them apart from the iron tummies any day!
See just because I can say and talk about disgusting
Things doesn’t nessasarily mean I can deal with
every squeamish convo… I can’t, but I can deal with shit!
Shit happens and we cannot avoid it!
Every single person, every day
(or at least they should)
takes a shit, so why not discuss it?!
This always seems to be the one that gets people!
Well my male friends just tell me about theirs and appreciate
my open mind and knack to come out with these things at
the most inappropriate times and a few of
my like-minded female friends will share their
But the majority of people just get all
“Freaked Out” about it and you know what?!
I THINK IT’S A SHITTING OUTRAGE!
Why?! Everyone takes a shit!
Plus I am a small lady and sometimes I find it
impressive and scary to see just how big a
poop my little bum-bum can produce…
I know I know… I am disgusting! J
What I don’t get…
Is how people will quite
happily discuss their Genital Warts
Or Chlamydia to their friends and that’s all cool?!
Or show there infected penis/clitoris piercing
to their friends… (I am actually fighting
back vomit as I type that!)
You must know what I am talking about…
Everyone has to take a shit…
Not everyone has Genital Warts or Chlamydia!
Me discussing my shit is an outrage!
The funniest thing about this is that
I have a mild OCD when it comes to cleanliness
and personal hygiene, most people who know me
actually say I am one of the cleanest people they have
ever met, until of course I open my mind and
the words start pouring out… J
I can say the most disgusting things ever whilst
washing an obscene amount of times during the
day and always smelling of the most heavenly shower-gels,
perfumes and lotions and potions known to man…
I am a bit weird I guess!
*BUT I LOVE BEING A BIT WEIRD!*
WEIRD IS GOOD!
Weird is just fears word for unique…
When someone calls you weird or strange it
means you are doing well in life and are not
roaming around like every other
autopilot Robo-cop asshole!
Just because I am “pretty” and “intelligent” does NOT
mean I might not just want to talk about shit sometimes!
I am NOT just a pretty face…
As I am forever being told! 🙂
I enjoy being myself I really do…
I love the person I have become!
I think I am pretty damn awesome!
Even I want to be more like ME! 🙂
What can I say, I am very comfortable in my own skin!
Guys seem to bond with me more than women,
I get on better with men and always have!
Why you ask?
Well… Because most women are bitches, that’s why!
You see me? I am NOT a bitch and that is why so many
BITCHES want to try to be-friend me…
I am loyal, kind, trust-worthy and honest and
I look after the people I love well…
But sometimes BITCHES take my kindness
for weakness! So I have to quote this:
“All these bitches wanna try and be my bestie,
so I take a left and leave em hanging like a testie!”
(I know, I know… I am just too cool)
Straight to the point, they know exactly where
they stand with me right away!
I am no fake BITCH…
I must admit I am half taking the piss…
But I do kind of prefer men to women…
UNLESS the women are as cool as me!
They are out there but very few and far between!
This is my motto I found that pretty much sums me up:
Think like a man, Act like a lady, Sex like a porn-star and Work like a Boss!
I get asked this question now and again and I recently discovered
Just how EASY it is to answer people who know me very well and
STILL manage to shock them…
This question is often asked in jest by close friends and
family when I have just said something a little…
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
Do you know what I say?
“Lots of things actually… Thanks for asking and thanks
again for being so observant!”
Try this when someone asks you…
They don’t have a clue what to say back!
It is FUCKING hilarious!
Peace and quiet!
This is quite a personal post for a guest blog Rob…
(Sorry about that, what can I say!
You caught me on one of my best days!)
I am in a weird ranting mood, I had some sweets and I
believe the sugar has made me hyper, I never really
eat sweets, I am more a savoury person…
Hence NO FILLINGS in these pearly whites! 🙂
Well… They will be pearly…
When I give up smoking New Years Day!
(Check out my post The Hardest Goodbye)
Thanks again Rob for having me.
I hope I didn’t shock the SHIT out of anyone too much!
Ahh… You see what I did there?
I am just taking the piss out of myself,
I am just trying to prove a point!
So I hope I didn’t offend anyone…
Rob, you’re amazing!
Thank you so much for the opportunity
and of course for following my blog!
I had so much fun writing this post!!!