Zombie Outbreak On Christmas. Are You Prepared?

Zombie Outbreak On Christmas

So if the zombie apocalypse happens tonight or tomorrow, will the gifts you got help you survive?  Or will you end up as a fast food snack pack for a bunch of stoner zombies?  Well as for me I will be prepared and me and my family will survive.  Aside from the items I already owned such as my various knives and my Max Brooks Zombie Survival Guide and many many zombie books, I received these lovely gifts for Christmas as well.  This isn’t everything I got but these are the things that will help my family and me survive the outbreak.

Zombie Armageddon Cutter War Blade Set

Zombie Armageddon Cutter War Blade Set

This awesome set of Zombie Armageddon Cutter War Blades are perfectly weighted, stylish, sharp, and just plain totally awesome.  Comes with carry case too.  These things will slice a zombies head off like cutting through butter and they are all mine.  My wife, ever so loving, wanting to ensure we were as prepared as possible, got me these for Christmas and boy what a gift.

Zombies 2013 Wall Calendar

Zombies 2013 Wall Calendar

Now once the outbreak starts it’s going to be very easy to lose track of what day or even what month it is.  With this wall calendar for at least one year we will be able to keep track of the days and months.  If it lasts longer then a year then it can always be reused, sure the day of the week may be off but that won’t really matter anymore.  Another fine gift I received for Christmas.

Zombie Playing Cards

Zombie Playing Cards

Of course while your hold up hiding; surviving, your going to have some downtime.  What better way to kill time then with a nice game of Texas Hold-em.  To do that you need playing cards.  Well I received 2 decks of these lovely playing cards.  They come with survival tips on each card as well.  A totally awesome Christmas present if I do say so myself.

Zombie Head Decanter

Zombie Head Decanter

Okay, it’s going to take a lot of liquor to get through the zombie apocalypse much less just to accept that it is actually happening that’s why I thought this zombie head decanter was the perfect gift.  My wife was definitely thinking of me when she got me this knowing I would need something to put my crown royal in.  Plus it goes with my skull shot glasses.  Another awesome Christmas gift from my wife.

Whiskey Sipping Stones

Whiskey Sipping Stones

Obviously at some point ice is no longer going to be an option.  Not to mention no one likes melted ice in their liquor.  It waters it down.  These are perfect to get you through the zombie outbreak and much better than ice and keep your drink cold.  Now during the warm months it may be difficult to find some place to freeze them but during the winter it will be very easy to just set them out, let the weather do it’s job then put them in your glass and pour.  Thanks to my wife for thinking of me and knowing if I’m going to make it through the apocalypse I’m going to need a COLD stiff drink to do it.

Big Bad-Ass Book of Shots

Big Bad-Ass Book of Shots

Finally, and last but not least, your going to have days that are just rough.  You’ve been going days upon days doing nothing but killing zombies and running for your life.  Your tired and your thirsty and a glass of crown just isn’t going to cut it what you need are a couple of shots.  Well this recipe book is just that savior.  It has almost every shot recipe you can think of and boy let me tell you if you have been on the run for 4 days straight with little to no sleep, fighting zombie after zombie, your going to need a stiff shot to forget about that 9 yr old zombie who’s head you had to slice off with your zombie armageddon cutter war blades before she bit your leg, damning you to walk the earth as one of them till someone cut your own head off.  Thank you to my wife for helping me forget the horrors of the apocalypse.

So these are just a few of the gifts I received for Christmas.  Not all but the ones that will help me survive if the zombie apocalypse begins within the next few days.  So what did you get for Christmas?  Will it help you survive the zombie apocalypse or are you screwed?

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12 thoughts on “Zombie Outbreak On Christmas. Are You Prepared?

  1. Pingback: Back From The Abyss « theinnerwildkat

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