I bet your sitting over there wondering, why is this guy posting a blog on Christmas Eve? Then again if your reading blogs on Christmas Eve then your probably not wondering it at all. Anyway, since you asked I will tell you why. Because I’m at work which is when I post the majority of my blogs anyway. Yes I have to work tonight, and tomorrow night and the night after, all week in fact, my normal 6pm to 6am shift. So, while your at home drinking your 1/4 eggnog 3/4 rum drink, I’ll be here, at work, doing nothing, except earning one of the last of my paychecks before I’m out of a job.
So enjoy your holiday cheer, your mistletoe make-out sessions, drunken work holiday parties watching the secretary get shit-faced, dance on her desk and yell to the boss about how he is a lousy fuck and she is surprised his wife hasn’t left him yet. Enjoy your home parties with all your friends and their slutty girlfriends dressed in Mrs Santa lingerie and your spouses special “Christmas gift” that’s just for you and one of those slutty girls you invited for the 3-way later.
Go to sleep dreaming of sugarplums and chocolates on your wives naughty parts and your kids waking you at 5:30 in the morning to say Santa came but the news says he was mugged by a bunch of punks in your apartment complex. Enjoy dumping out your stockings on the bed, your kids asking why dad’s was filled with Trojan Ribbed Condoms and Moms has a glass dildo. I truly hope you enjoy opening your gifts in the morning, watching your kids and spouses faces light up as see all the money you couldn’t spend on them because of a shitty economy and lack of money. Seeing your daughter play with her new Pimp Ken and Hooker Barbie or your son playing with his new Penthouse magazine that was dad’s gift but got mixed up and dad accidentally got his son’s model airplane instead. Enjoy all these things and please don’t worry about me while I sit here at work all fucking night while my wife and kids sit at home alone. Then go home in the morning open gifts as fast as possible with the family before I go to sleep so I can get up in the afternoon and do it all over again. Please enjoy yourselves this Christmas.
All joking aside, I do hope every single one of you have a very Merry Christmas and have a wonderful time with your family and friends. May you have blessed day filled with love, laughter, and joy. From my family to yours.
The Nelson Family