As most of you know the apocalypse or the end of the world is coming in 3 days. That’s this Friday, 21 Dec 12. Now there are a lot of theories abound about what will happen and I am going to discuss those false theories then I will inform you what is really going to happen.
A lot of people are diluted into thinking the apocalypse (of any kind) isn’t really going to happen this Friday. Well to you I will reserve my I told you so’s till then and then I will rub it in your face because once your read this blog I will have told you so.
According to a christian cult in China there will be 72 days of natural disasters that will end life on earth. Well people do not be alarmed, they are cultist so what the hell do they know right?
Then there are the nut jobs at LiveScience who say life will end by a massive solar storm or the magnetic poles will flip-flop, or Planet X (a rogue planet that doesn’t exist) will smash into us or the planets will align in a way that ruins everything and finally the last theory is a massive global blackout due to an unprecedented alignment of Earth and Sun. Again none of this is projected to happen so you really can’t expect it to magically happen.
There will be a camera broadcasting live from space so the public can watch for the arrival of mysterious, deadly planets, giant tides, blackouts, and other Earth-shattering phenomena.
According to David Stuart, a professor of Mesoamerican art at the University of Texas at Austin, the Mayan calendar actually continues. It is simply entering a new cycle. Okay, lets break this down. He’s a professor of Mesoamerican art for one. Who in the fuck becomes a professor in that? Next he’s at the University of Texas at Austin. Obviously he pissed someone off to be sent to America’s ass (no-offense to my followers who either live in Texas or attended that college, I have lived there and I just have an extreme hatred for Texas) so back to what I was saying, oh yea, so why would we listen to him?
Now that I have enlightened you about all the nonsense trash apocalyptic stories let me tell you what is really going to happen. Yes the apocalypse is going to happen. NO it’s not going to be what everyone thinks. No it’s not going to be the Christian book of Revelations, 7 trumpets sound, the Anti-Christ rising to power, forcing people to take the mark or die, Christ coming back, and all of that. No, no, no, no, no. None of that. Throw all of that away. Get it out of your head. The apocalypse will be, the Zombie Apocalypse. Think about it. The signs have been there for months. I have even blogged about them. Go to my zombie tab and look at them, not my zombie journals but the actual blogs. The Florida man eating the other man. The Maryland man who ate his roommate. There are dozens more cases. There is a new H1N1 strain out that I believe will mix with the virius that causes the zombie ants and this will take over. Yes people the Zombie Apocalypse is coming.
My wife and I have had this conversation many times and she has said that if it ever happened she was blaming me, that I wished it, because I wanted it to happen. Well sorry babe but you can’t blame me, blame the Myans’ they are the ones who predicted this not me. I tell you what though, I am prepared and if your not, again go to my zombie tab, I have 3 blogs that tell you how to prepare for the zombie apocalypse.