Those who have been following me for awhile should already know this and if they don’t then I can only guess they are oblivious to everything around them considering I have mentioned it more then once. Its my subtle way of hoping someone will say “Hey, send me your resume, I’ll see if I can’t help” though that has not happened yet. Anyway, 14 Jan the contract I am on ends. What does this mean for me? I will be out of a job. No income. No way to pay my $1400 a month rent or buy groceries or buy my crown royal to cope with the fact that I’m a loser who has no job and can’t support his family.
Well I have been applying for jobs since last Dec, so a year now, on a weekly basis and have pretty much been turned down for everything. Let me tell you, I have applied for pretty much everything under the sun. Jobs, I’m qualified for, over-qualified for, under-qualified for, and not even close to being qualified for. So I figured with a month left I have to come up with something to get some income. So I fell back on my brainstorming skills I learned in the military and started coming up with ideas of ways to make money. Below are those ideas.
Stripper: Now I know for a fact strippers make damn good money and I have been working nights for a year and half already so I’m used to the hours. I could be rolling in the dough with this job. Move over Channing Tatum, Magic Mike has nothing on me. I’ll blow you guys out of the water with my chiseled body, nice package, and amazing dance moves.
Singer: Considering the fact that I sing to pretty much every single song that I hear, I’m a perfect candidate for this job. I got the rock star lifestyle down anyway. My wife is my #1 fan and ultimate groupie, I can drink anyone under the table and stay up partying for days. Not to mention my amazing vocals.
Author: Considering the fact that I have already been published twice, once for an article I wrote while in the Air Force and then just recently I self-published my Zombie Journals which are currently for sell for Kendle for just $2.99. What better job then to sleep in, sit around on my ass all day, write when I get inspiration, drink some crown, eat, write some more, take a nap, get up and drink some more crown, watch some T.V., drink some more crown, write some more, take another nap, finish my novel and self publish and start all over the next week.
Sex Coach: With the experience and uncanny abilities I have in the bedroom I would be a perfect candidate for this job as well. I can teach in groups or individually, people who are, lets say, less experienced in the art of sex and need pointers and are looking to expand their knowledge on how to please their partner. Explaining how to perform different acts, introducing them to sexual acts they may never have known existed, how to suppress their orgasm so they can last longer, and so on. The best thing is I can charge whatever I want per hour.
Motivational Speaker: My entire life, I have always been someone people have felt they could come to with their problems and get advice and comfort. I have had people I didn’t know more than a day spill their most intimate secrets to me because they got some sort of feeling that I could help them in some way. Sometimes people need someone who can be direct with them. Someone to tell them they are being stupid and to stop thumbing their pussy and get over it. I’m just that guy, I got the experience, the skills, and people already seek me out for it anyway, so why not get paid for it?
So there you have it, a few ideas that I know I could make big money doing come next month once I am jobless. Now the question is which one do I choose? Which one is going to be the most satisfying and make the most money?