Well, it finally happened. It took a minute but our first celebrity blogger has came up with a post for everyone. This post comes from my wife, you can visit her site at Shanpagne All Around. Trust me you’ll love it. So give a round of applause for her. Go ahead, clap! Okay that’s enough clapping. On with the post.
Post By Shanpagne All Around
The other day I came across an article on how the Government wants to do away with the dollar bill. It’s no big shock, they’ve been saying for years how they want to quit producing the dollar bill and the penny… (my vote is to stop the pennies.. I hate them damn things). Now I know they will most likely never be able to stop printing the dollar (despite the vending machine companies thinking this is the best idea because it cuts down on jams and lowers the cost of maintenance for them) but it made me think about… you guessed it… “What if”… y’all know I love me some what ifs….
What if they did stop making the dollar bill? How would that change things for us? Well first off, do you really want to give your kid(s) coins that are worth that much to lose on the playground? Think about the noise they would create in the classroom with a pocket full of heavy dollar coins?
What about those vending machines? Do you really want to be carrying around heavy coins in your pockets to use those machines at your job? I know I don’t.
And women, do we really need MORE heavy coins in our purses? No, I don’t think so.
And men, where on earth or you going to put them? They won’t go in the wallet anymore… so they’ll be jingling in your pocket.
And lastly, and most importantly, what about the strippers? Think about it. Guys will be chunking those heavy coins up on the stage and who knows, maybe even hit one of them in the eye which could cause her to fall off the pole, then off the stage crashing into a table full of drinks bruising up her body then nobody will want to see her dance again until she heals.. so she’ll be without money for at least a week. And what if she’s into a serious dance and her hooker heel slips on a coin causing her to blow out her ankle and falling face first??? What if her implants rupture due to the fall???? Oh the humanity!!! How are you supposed to slip a coin into her G-string? I mean you could probably slide it through one of the cracks she’s got showing but I’m not thinking she’ll be digging that too much. Ya know those single mom’s need their dollar bills to help feed their babies… what right does the USA have to take that away from them? Don’t they have a hard enough time just surviving?
So I say NO MR. GOVERNMENT MAN… do not take away our beloved dollar bill… we love our dollars. If we have a bunch in our wallets we feel rich. You’ve already made us poor bastards… why make us feel like that too????