There Is No Protection For Fathers

It was made abundantly clear to me this past Monday that within the child support enforcement system there is no protection for fathers.  All fathers who are required to pay child support or child support and spousal support are automatically considered to be a dead beat dad and are offered no protection from the system what-so ever.  Apparently in an effort to ensure that the actual dead beat fathers are treated like shit (as they should be) they have to treat all fathers like a dead beat father.  There can be no distinction.

Let me lay out the background for you.  When I got divorced our agreement stated I would pay direct to my ex $970 in child support for 3 children and $1477 in spousal support.  When she started drawing from my retirement (because she got half which is $500 a month to her) it would go down dollar for dollar and spousal support became $976.  After the oldest was emancipated we agree the child support should be lowered to $646 for 2 children.  As you can see even these numbers are high compared to most other states.  Well I paid her direct on time for 4 years.  Then I retired and was unable to find a job for 6 months.  So I was unable to pay.  Unemployment was only $67 a week.  During this time my ex decided she was going to put this into the child support enforcement system.

It’s at this point everything gets fucked up.  They figure my arrears for child support at $970 and for spousal support at $1447 a month.  Both of which were totally incorrect.  I supplied all documentation to the contrary and they refused to change it.  I requested child support be lowered, paperwork was filled out and suddenly they say I will also have to cover her insurance (for optical only) that she got on her own while fulfilling the decree which states I provide medical and dental.  That is an extra $400 a month.  They also said to get it to where it automatically drops when my son in so longer eligible for child support I had to see a judge even though our decree was specifically written to cover this.  So all in all they said “Screw your divorce decree, we don’t care what it says, your a father paying child support and spousal support so in our eyes you are a dead beat dad and have no protection under us so we can do what we want and we are going to ignore your decree and take whatever we want to from  you.”  So I said fine, “I WANT A FUCKING COURT DATE BIATCHES!”

That was in Feb that I got the court date for Aug.  I showed up in Aug, suddenly they are talking about how they “Forgot” to calculate my spousal support and immediately requested the judge move the date to 5 Nov.  Fuck that BS I am here now and ready and I can’t keep paying this BS just because YOU weren’t prepared.  Judge says okay and I’m fucked again.  Why?  Because I’m a dead beat dad who pays child support and spousal support.

So 5 Nov arrives this past Monday.  I show up, my ex came up from Florida.  Before seeing the judge we saw this lady from child support enforcement.  She verified I was there to modify child support I said yes BUT that is not the only thing I want modified.  I went on about the medical and the arrears and spousal support.  My ex agreed I should not be covering her insurance so they dropped that.  She also agreed what their $24,000 that they showed me owing is arrears was incorrect that it should be $12,000 base on our mutual agreement so they modified that.  They lowered what I have to pay a month for arrears.  Plus as of 1 Jun 2013 my son is emancipated and child support will automatically lower to $636 I think it was for 1 child.  Now spousal support stays even though she has a full time job and is taking home more than me with her job, my child support and my spousal support and she lives in Florida a lower cost of living state than Virginia.  Now here is the kicker.  I started paying $970 for 3 kids, then they said $970 for 2 kids (wait isn’t it supposed to go down?) then she said if I walk in to the judge asking for a modification they will RAISE my child support to $1080 a month for 2 children!  WHY?  Because I’m a dead beat father who pays his child support and spousal support.  Now in most states child support is $150 to $250 a child.  Why the FUCK is it so high in Virginia?  I think it’s just me.  I bet other people in Virginia are paying less than me, they are just out to fuck me.  It has to be, nothing else makes sense.

So that was my day in court Monday.  I hand job with NO happy ending while getting fucked up the ass without lube.

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14 thoughts on “There Is No Protection For Fathers

  1. Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey

    Oh I am so sorry to hear that. The system is messed up all around. I have a friend who really does have to deal with a dead beat dad that pays child support late or whenever he feels like and he lives out of the country so not much that our courts can do……Currently he is 3 months behind. I feel bad for anyone having to deal with system, especailly if the ex is a NPD, maked it even worse….

    Reply
    1. radaronelson Post author

      I totally hear where your coming from. It’s unfortunate but it seems the real dead beat fathers have made the system difficult for all fathers and me being one of the good ones it is extremely frustrating and pisses me off.

      Reply
  2. Katie

    That’s awful. What I’ve never understood about divorces is why the whole concept of “spousal support” even exists. It would make me uncomfortable to take my ex-husbands money in that situation, but unfortunately most women will grab any money they can get.

    Reply
    1. Sex, Spirit, Soul Mates and Chocolate....Ivonne's Journey

      I agree with Katie…I beleive in Child support but not spousal support. The only instance of spousal support that I think would be legitimate is the woman who gave up career and was a housewife while husband went to law school or medical school or advanced himself and then it should only be for a couple of years to get the wife on her own and independent.

      Reply
      1. radaronelson Post author

        She was one of those stay at home housewives, despite me telling her, our entire marriage she needed to go to school and get a job. But within a year of me leaving she had moved to Florida, got a house (for free from her grandfather who already owned it) and got a full time job.

        Reply
    2. radaronelson Post author

      It’s her way of making me pay for asking for the divorce. She was happy having a husband she could control. She lost that control and it pissed her off so the only way should could maintain some sort of control was through my finances with child support and spousal support. All she cares about is the money.

      Reply
    1. radaronelson Post author

      True unfortunately with my arrears from when I was out of work it’s going to take longer to pay that off then it will my last to graduate. So I will have to deal with her until the arrears are paid off. Not to mention she get’s half my military retirement for life but that is transparent. It’s automatically taken out and deposited into her account.

      Reply
        1. radaronelson Post author

          According to the military if we are married more than 10 yrs of my military career then she is entitled to it. We were married for 15 yrs of my military career.

          Reply
  3. Shannygirl

    I have mentioned more then once on my facebook page (because she has spies) that I would kill myself before I EVER let my ex pay me to survive.. that it proves I can’t make it without him. Sad thing is she still believes he will come back to her.. especially if his life is bad enough and her’s isn’t. She has no clue how much he truly despises everything about her and how her actions has caused him to hate her to the core. There is so much more to this story but I had him delete my comment telling the truth about what she did this last week.. She is pathetic to me.. I have 2 kids and never got a dime of child support or spousal support and one of my kids is special needs. She’s not a real woman or a real Christian. She’s a sad sad angry excuse of a shell living a lie.

    Reply

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