Trust Me….You Don’t Want To Say It

Okay guys and ladies, everyone, when they are single will use a pick up line or two to start a conversation with someone they want to enjoy the evening with.  Pick up lines can be great tools if used properly.  A wonderful thing to have in your arsenal but there are just some pick up lines you NEVER want to use.  So take heed to these pick up lines and remember, avoid them at all costs.

“Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?”

“I’m new in town.  Could you give me directions to your apartment?”

“Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths.”

“Wow, you look like Xena the Warrior Princess! Wanna date?”

“You look just like a swan.  You have skinny legs but a fat ass.”

“Sorry, I thought this was the men’s room.  Still, while we’re alone in here…”

“Hey girl, what’s up?  Guess what?  It’s your lucky day.  Out of all the girls here, I picked you to talk to.”

“You must be a broom because you’re sweeping me off my feet.”

“You might as well sleep with me because I’m going to tell everybody we did it anyway.”

“I’ll give you five seconds to give me your number or you can forget about going out with me forever.”

“Would you like to dance or should I go screw myself again?”

“Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?”

“Was your father a thief?  ‘Coz someone stole the stars from the sky to put in your eyes.”

“You must be tired… you’ve been running through my mind all night.”

“Hi. You’re looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink.”

“You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement.”

“You’re hot, I’m ugly.  Let’s make average babies.”

“Secret Service, ma’am.  I need to do a full body cavity search.  National security, you know.”

“My magical watch says you don’t know who I am…”

“I’ve got my beady eye set on you”

“Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?”

“Can I have your phone number?  I seem to have lost mine.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk past again?”

“Is your last name Gillette?  Because you’re the best a man can get.”

“Do you come here often?  Because I can make you.”

“Excuse me; I think you owe me a drink.”  [She says, “Why?”]  “Because when I saw you from across the room I dropped mine.  It was a rum and Coke, and I’m [your name].”

“I enjoy doing maintenance, you look like someone I would like to “tinker” around with.”

“Hey baby, I’m like American Express, you don’t want to leave home without me.”

“I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him?  I think he went into this cheap motel room.”

“I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into the wall over there.  So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.”

“Well, here I am.  What are your other two wishes?”

Have you been arrested?  It’s gotta be illegal to look that good.”

“Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.”

“I’ve had quite a bit to drink, and you’re beginning to look pretty good.”

“Do you have a library card?  Because I’m checking you out.”

“You owe me money.”
“Why?”
“You’ve been living in my heart and you haven’t paid rent.”

“Your mom is hot!  I bet you will look just like her when you are older.”

“How long did it take to shave those looong legs?”

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4 thoughts on “Trust Me….You Don’t Want To Say It

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