Ahhhh, Thailand, hands down the best place I have ever visited. I was there for 35 days and I couldn’t have had more fun anywhere. The people were the nicest people I have ever met anywhere. The food was to die for, except for the curry food, I don’t do curry but the rest was awesome and of course there was the bar scene which was to say the least an experience. There is so much to tell It’s hard to decide what to start with first.
I guess the first thing to tell is I went in April 2004, I was TDY there while in the Air Force. I worked 12 hour days, slept for 1 to 2 hours and spent the rest of the time seeing the sites and partying. I got back to the hotel in just enough time to shower and get ready for work and start the day all over again. My one day off is when I slept and caught up on sleep then of course woke up and started all over again.
I saw the local zoo, took a river boat ride on the river Kwai where there were huge fish jumping out of the water by the boat. They gave us bread to feed them which made them jump higher and almost into the boat. I even visited Bangkok which is another story I’ll tell later in this post.
So to get around we rode in the Tuk Tuk which was the local taxi. These guys driving these things were INSANE. OMG, they would zip in and out of traffic, around cars and mopeds, drive up on the sidewalk, run through the lights. Unfortunately there was no other way to get around. Then there was the nightlife. Wow did I have my eyes opened on a different culture. I had already experienced the juicy girls in Korea but this was a whole other level. The bars had girls that you bought their “time.” They could just sit and drink with you or if you wanted to leave with them you could. You paid for their “time”.
Then there was the “Fish Bowl” Where they had the women behind glass with numbers around their necks the smaller the number the more expensive their “time” was. Anyway they would come out drink with you then you went in the back they would give you a massage, bath you, have sex, then bath you again, then you tip her and leave. Of course I didn’t participate in any of that just telling you what I saw.
Then there were the “Thai” only bars that the only way you got in was to be personally invited to. Lucky for me I made friends with the bartender (she went by Meow) at the bar and she invited me one night to one of the “Thai” only bars. Even riding on the back of a moped in the middle of the night can be just as scary at the Tuk Tuks. So we get there, me her and her sister, good music, good drinks, we had a lot of fun, and then it happened. Her sister had too many drinks and starts throwing up. Way to kill the night man. So we had to get her home and after that she dropped me off at the hotel but I was not ready to go to bed so I hit the bar under the hotel till it was time to go up and shower and get ready for work. Despite the early night from the first bar, it was still a good night.
Then there was Bangkok. Oh my goodness. First we go to have dinner on this boat and these people are standing right outside the boat with stuff to sell and let me tell you they are persistent. This one guy was selling hats and he would go so far as put it on your head then tell you that you had to buy, I was oh hell the fuck no I don’t and threw it back at him. Of course after we ate we had to maneuver our way through them again. Then we hit the Red Light District. Topless bars, prostitutes everywhere, and plenty of booze. And then there were the Kathoeys or ladyboys, yes I said it, women with male parts or men with breasts however you want to look at it.
I was with two other Lieutenants that night and we hit one spot where we had to go up stairs and as we got to the top there was a Kathoey standing there just waiting for the next person to come up and it just so happened this one lieutenant with me got caught by him/her. She was rubbing all over him and he was freaking out. Me and the other LT were laughing our asses off and eventually we got by and was able to hit all the bars. Well when we were ready to leave we had to go by the Kathoey again to get down the stairs so me and the one LT decided to set up the other LT (The one who the Kathoey was all over when we first came up) and we used him as a blocker. We strategically walked behind him so he was first to go by and while he/she was distracted with him we ran around and down the stairs. Of course when he made it down he was cussing and calling us names but we didn’t care we couldn’t stop laughing. It was that same night we had our fear factor night where we had from a roadside stand, BBQ rat on a stick, boiled scorpion, chocolate covered locust, and a buch of other bugs.
Despite the drinking and seeing the sites, and I won’t even go into details about the donkey show, I had a blast. The food was wonderful and like I said the people were the nicest ever. I would love to go back and visit.