You Only Have 2 Cheeks To Turn

Turn the other cheek.  A saying I’m sure most everyone has heard at one point in their life.  I’m also sure there have been times when you said to yourself “yea right, you don’t know what they did or how much shit I have had to put up with.”  Well, when I was in 7th grade I pretty much spent 7th grade in the principles office for fighting.  It’s amazing I still passed with A’s and B’s since I was getting my ass paddled with the big paddle with holes in it (so you could hear the whistle as he swung) more than I was in class.

Anyway, after my first fight my dad told me a variation of “turn the other cheek” and it’s something I have lived by to this day.  I have even told my own children.  Now if you don’t agree, so be it, don’t judge, it’s not your place.  History and my legacy that I leave behind to my family and how I am spoke of by my relatives and children and grandchildren after I am gone will be my judgment.

Okay, back to my story, the variation my dad told me.  He sat me down after that first fight and told me “First off you should always avoid fighting whenever possible.  If someone says something to you or hits you; turn the other cheek.  If they continue running their mouth or hit you a second time; turn the other cheek again.  If they say something or touch you in any kind of threatening or hurtful manner a third time, well you only have two cheeks to turn so now it’s time to kick their ass.”  I listened and I learned.  I did what he said, I was still in a lot of fights that year but after that no one ever messed with me again.  Matter of fact they either didn’t talk to me at all or they wanted to be my friend.

I passed that on to my own children.  Luckily out of 3 kids and 2 step kids, only one has gotten into any type of fight.  As I got older I eventually joined Budashin-Tae-Kwon and enrolled my two daughters and son into it as well.  They got pretty far before they moved after my divorce.  I eventually became a black belt and then became an instructor.  It’s been several years since then and I no longer instruct but I still remember anything so don’t think because I’m not teaching I have forgotten it.  Now my step daughter is in Tae-Kwon-Do and doing extremely well too.

The thing to remember about any martial arts is that it’s not about being able to start a fight and kick someone’s ass.  It’s about self discipline, self control, self defense, and ending a fight if you have ran out of cheeks to turn, as my dad told me when I was a kid.

I truly believe we should always do what we can to avoid a fight.  Try to talk your way out of a fight if possible.  Reason with your attacker.  If they have a weapon, give them what they want, be it your wallet, purse, whatever, but if it has become apparent that no matter what you do they are not going to leave until they have attempted to do you bodily harm, well then it is time for you to defend yourself and make them regret that choice.  Every person has the right to defend themselves when they feel they are being threatened and bodily harm will come to them, and with the proper training you can do just that.

Now I’m not advocating violence, remember I said to avoid a conflict whenever possible.  All I’m saying is learn to defend yourself so if the time comes when you have turned both cheeks and they are still there, intent on harming you, then it’s time to kick their ass.

This goes for your fellow man/woman as well.  All too often do we see people in trouble and people will turn and walk away instead of standing up to help.  I guarantee you if that gang of 3 going after that 1 individual had 5 or 10 random people off the street walk up to them to defend that one, they would back down and walk away without doing anything because instead of outnumbering their victim they have now become the ones who are outnumbered.

I have been told more than once I have a superman complex.  Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.  I don’t think I do.  Now has it caused me problems a time or two?  Sure but not that often.  I believe we all should be there to help.  I have came to the aid of many people in my time who were ready to get beat up and were out numbered.  I served in the military for 20 years.  I have done and seen a lot in peacetime and war time, some I have talked about, some I have not and never will.  People have their perceptions and I like to keep it like that.  No reason to change it.  But, as I was saying almost every time I have came to the aid of another, I was able to talk them down and avoid the fight.  Maybe this goes to my post yesterday about being good with words, who knows.  But the point is I was there to help and if talking didn’t work I was willing to fight to help that person, even if I didn’t know them.  That is something I believe more people should do but unfortunately don’t.

So I end with my father’s words “You should always avoid fighting whenever possible.  If someone says something to you or hits you; turn the other cheek.  If they continue running their mouth or hit you a second time; turn the other cheek again.  If they say something or touch you in any kind of threatening or hurtful manner a third time, well you only have two cheeks to turn so now it’s time to kick their ass.”


9 thoughts on “You Only Have 2 Cheeks To Turn

  1. DaPoet

    Several years ago a 24 yr old “FEMALE” collage graduate who had landed a job as a manager – was in top physical condition and had a black belt in karate ended up being murdered on a Georgia mountain trail by a sixty yr old plus man in poor physical condition.

    She would have been better off and perhaps still alive if her father had instilled in her the common sense to a) not go into the woods alone but with two other individuals as I learned from “Boy’s Life” magazine when I was growing up. b)To tell someone where she was going and what time she was going to return home in case something happened and c) not to rely on a dog too young to protect her as protection.

    Instead she was taught to be independent and paid for her independence with her life.

    1. radaronelson Post author

      That is proof no matter how well trained you are in defending yourself it doesn’t mean you will always win, that why you avoid first. But you are right. When I backpacked when I lived in Alaska, we always told a ranger where we would be going how long we planned to be out, etc.

  2. Shannygirl

    I have a little problem with this being a survivor of domestic violence. If a man strikes my daughter, I do NOT want her to turn the other cheek giving him an opportunity for him to hit the other side, I want her to grab a cast iron frying pan (a gift I will be giving her) and knock his ass out.

    1. radaronelson Post author

      And I can agree with that. But there is a difference between abuse of a woman by a man and a cat fight between two women. My post is geared more towards same sex fights and self defense against those who trying to rob you or gang up on someone else. If someone has a gun asking for her money, she is better served to give up her money then to try and say no. If they get her money and show they intend to do harm anyway instead of leaving then it is time to defend herself.

        1. radaronelson Post author

          And I wasn’t saying this was for every situation. No where did I mention to use this if your a women being hit by a man. That has a totally different set of rules in my book and a totally different set of actions.

  3. Kitt Crescendo

    Ok…so I have a few feelings about turning the other cheek…shocker, right? Here’s how I read that. Biblically speaking Jesus said forgive 70×7…which back then pretty much meant always forgive. And he forgave us some major stuff!
    Having said that. I don’t tend to get too worked up about things done to me. Have I been in fights? Several…most when I was younger. Never caught. Never did time in the Principal’s office, but I had a big enough reputation that girls didn’t want any part of me…so if fighting was to be done, it was usually a boy. (Yeah, I was a total tomboy.) When I was really young I got in fights defending everything! As I got older and learned a little about myself and God I realized people could say or do whatever they didn’t change who I was unless I allowed it to. But don’t you dare eff with someone I care about. The fastest way to get me raring for a fight was to come at one of my younger siblings or one of my friends. I might not fight to defend myself, but I’d kick anyone’s ass who messed with any of them. (Which may explain why my younger siblings 1. never learned to fight & 2. never got messed with)
    Now like was said above…there are some things that are common sensical. Don’t go to unpopulated areas alone. Don’t go anywhere without telling someone where you are. Trust your instincts when they tell you something’s up…(it could save your life…or keep you from getting raped as was the case for me).
    And I kind of agree with your lady…if a man raises his hand to a woman…and she can…knock his ass out and get away. Don’t go back. (easier for me to say as I’ve never been in those shoes) And in this case…turning the other cheek is forgiving…for yourself…not going back or forgetting…just finding a way to clear yourself of the hate and anger. (Hope that makes sense).

  4. Pingback: Boiling Points And Slaying Dragon Ladies « theinnerwildkat

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