It Wasn’t Bath Salts. Maybe the Zombie Virus?

Okay so in a previous post about the Zombie Apocolypse starting, I referenced this particular story as an example and I stand by it.  After it happened, they stated that they thought Rudy Eugene was high on “bath salts” which caused him to eat the homeless man’s face.  Well according to the Miami-Dade County medical examiner’s office, toxicology tests performed on Eugene found Marijuana in his system, BUT no street drugs, prescription drugs, or alcohol.  He also tested negative for adulterants commonly mided with street drugs.

But that doesn’t necessarily mean cannabis was the cause of cannibalism.  Anyone who knows anything about Marijuana knows, though it may give you the munchies, it doesn’t make you go out and eat someone’s face.

Bruce Goldberger, professor and director of toxicology at the University of Florida, told the Associate Press.  “There are many of these synthetic drugs that we currently don’t have the methodology to test on, and that is not the fault of the toxicology lab. The challenge today for the toxicology lab is to stay on top of these new chemicals and develop methodologies for them, but it’s very difficult and very expensive.  There is no one test or combination of tests that can detect every possible substance out there.”

In other words, they don’t know what caused it because their test can’t detect it.  Which makes sense because it’s the ZOMBIE FREAKING VIRUS you idiots.  It’s not some drug.  Your testing for the wrong thing.  I maintain Florida is ground zero for the zombie virus.  Take a look at my previous blog about this and you will see.  Ronald Poppo, the 65-year-old homeless victim, remains hospitalized following the 26 May attack, where he will remain until he too, becomes one of the walking dead!

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