Okay so one day when I was a kid I was out back playing in the woods. I happened upon this one tree and saw a birds nest so I decided to climb the tree and check it out. I got to the top and there was a couple broken eggs and one egg still untouched. Me being the nice guy that I was figured either the mother killed the others, they hatched and left, or something got in the nest and killed the other birds, so rather than leave the last one there to fend for it’s self I decided I was going to bring it home and raise it myself.
Under normal circumstances one would think this could be a good idea right? Well this wasn’t a normal day. Apparently the mother was still around and watching me and when I took that egg out of the nest she started squaking and flying around the tree. I thought it was weird but that was it. As I decended the tree, this bird decides to start trying to divebomb me. As I got to the ground I quickly realized this bird was either the anti-crist or a prehistoric terradactyl. As I started running for home with this delicate egg in my hand this bird was diving and pecking my head every few seconds. It’s a wonder I didn’t have a hole in head after that. So I almost get there and stop and decide I’m not going to make it before my eyes are pecked out by this flying beast. What I didn’t realize was I was only a few feet from home. So I decided to turn around.
I’m running back to the tree, this bird still attacking my head the entire way, I climb the tree, put the egg back and climb back down. All that effort and the damn bird didn’t even go in the nest to check on the egg.
So later on I’m walking through the woods minding my own business. I’m minding my own business, walking through the woods. Just walking through the woods minding my own business when I spot a huge black snake. Now I used to catch snakes as a kid and pick them up. Yes I didn’t always use comman sense. So I thought to myself, I’ll pick this one up. But as I tried he took off slithering away as fast as it could. And so the chase ensued.
I’m running, I’m running, I’m running and suddenly BAM, I trip and fall face first into the ground. As I look up I see that black snake 2 feet away staring me in the face. Now standing up I’m braver cause I’m taller and bigger but on my stomach face to face with this monster i’m not feeling so brave anymore. So I slowly back away, grab a stick and stand up. Whala I’m now taller again and no longer scared. I’m also pissed this snake just scared the piss out of me so I take my stick and try hitting the snake, I figure it’s payback but I miss and the snake takes off. I take off chasing it. I’m chasing this damn snake for 10 mins trying to kill it with my stick only to lose it in some brushes. I eventualy gave up and went home. Eventually my anger faded as I got back to my house but to this day I will never forget about the bird and the snake.