So another Mother’s Day is finally upon us, it’s that time of year that we pay homage to those women who went through all that excrutiating pain and suffering to have you or your lovely, adorable, annoying, drive you crazy, never listening children.
As someone who actually used to be a child, a very, very long time ago, and to some degree may still act it, at least in spirit or when I’m EXTREMELY drunk, I want to first pay homage to my mother. Oh what do I say about my mother? Oh what can I say about my mother? Oh what should I say about my mother? Actually what SHOULDN’T I say about my mother? Let’s take a little walk down memory lane shall we. Picture this, it’s 1977, Summer in Leesburg Florida, the bee’s are out in force and there we were…oh wait I was having a Golden Girls flash back there….hahaha anyway, my mother what can I say. Let me start by saying no matter what I do love her. She’s my mom. And no matter how annoying she is or how pissed off she makes me, or how many times she says the wrong things at the wrong time and just seems so incencative or uncarring, she has always been faithful. She has always been a constant. She has always been there when I needed her or even didn’t need her.
Now like any other child we all have our moments growing up when we think “MY GOD I can’t wait to get away from my mother” and sometimes I still think it to this day. I did things that were a disappointment to her growing up and as an adult but she still loved me. I do things that are a disappointment to her but she still loves me. But at the same time she is proud of me and my accomplishments in life and you can’t ask more than that from your mother. So Happy Mother’s Day mom, I hope you have a wonderful day. Next up: My wife!
Though my wife isn’t the mother of my children she is a mother, step mother to my children, and the mother of my step children and she is a wonderful mother at that. And like any mother she gets frustrated with the kids not listening, not eating, saying I don’t like this, I don’t like that, she hit me, he pushed me, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And of course I, as the consumate father and husband, NEVER upset her at all because I always do everything right, I’m trained so to speak, perfect in her eyes. You standing on your table yet to get out of the shit piling up? I’m her husband damn it. Of course I’m not perfect, of course I upset her. Of course I don’t do everything she says because I disagree or have to do it my way and learn from my mistakes and realize later that she was right all along and it would have been a lot easier if I had just listened to her in the first place. But it’s not all that bad is it? Of course not. This is just a part of motherhood and being a wife at the same time.
There are those wonderful loving moments when she looks at her kids and me, a flood of memories crashing into her mind like a damn broke letting loose everything she forgot about or filed away in the back of her mind and thinks to herself….”What in the hell was I thinking?” Seriously, she says all the time no matter how frustrated she might get she loves her children more than anything like any normal mother would and she reminds me all the time how proud of me she is and how happy she is to be with me and how handsome and sexy she thinks I am. She has been through more stuff to protect herself and her children than any mother should ever have to go through and yet she stayed strong and made it through. That is the sign of a great mother. So this Mother’s Day, Shannon, my wife, I salute you. I hope you have a great day, despite the fact I have to work. Next up all the other Mother’s out there!
To all the rest of you MILFs out there I’d just like to say, keep up the great work. Your doing an oustanding job with your children even if at times it doesn’t feel like it. Your doing great with your husbands, even if it doesn’t seem like he is trainable. And keep up them rocking bodies cause we do love our MILFs. Happy Mother’s Day. I hope you have a great day and if your husband doesn’t do anything and makes you feel like you don’t deserve to be celebrated cause your not “his” mother, then drop his ass of at the corner and go find yourself a real man who knows the value of a wife and mother and will celebrate you on this wonderful day. Happy Mother’s Day.